Life since conception

So the news was official! Mandy was pregnant, and the way she told me was just as clever as anything you'd see on TV. The closest I've seen has been the way it was done on The Big Bang Theory. I was told to stay out of the kitchen for a few minutes, and then allowed to come in. I glanced around, looking for some new treat or dessert. Instead, I was treated to a very nicely put together message on the fridge!

I'm not the most observant fella in the world, so I was fortunate to have her standing right beside the message. You have to admit, fun and clever, right?! I reacted in the expected and usual way, with a dumbfounded, "Really?!"

We waited for a while to spread the word, just to be safe. I wanted to scream it out to the world, but was held to secrecy. Her family and a few close friends were the first to know, and we haven't gone public on facebook. The registry is up and running, and the baby shower is in a couple of weeks. The room is nearly ready, and soon the time will come for me to really step up. I've handled the bulk of putting the room together by laying down carpet squares and putting up a fresh coat of paint. Mandy is going to do most of the additional decorating, although I'd like to have a hand in that. I like to craft, and want to add some fun touches. To give you an example, almost all of the magnets to the left were made by me. I make a lot of other things too, and am hoping to get some Patreon support. Asking for funds is not my strong suit, so it will be tough, and I really need to hold up my end. If I can keep this up, I want to be sure to offer regular shout outs to thank people. Generosity should be rewarded!

Coming soon - the learning curve!

Beginnings!

2 posts in one day? Madness! Possibly, but multiple posts help me organize my thoughts a bit and hopefully stay on topic. Now that I've gone over some generalities, I hope to post more specific thoughts.

First of all, this idea is based on another website I found, so here's his official shout out -https://www.artofmanliness.com/2016/08/11/so-you-want-my-job-stay-at-home-dad/ .

I haven't even read the whole thing, but I really enjoy his presentation, and our lives are very very different. That covers how this project began.

What about my other project? Project kiddo? How did all that come to be? 

As mentioned in my first post, Mandy dealt with a health issue that required her to stop taking her birth control pill. We had both come to accept that kids were not in our future. At 48, I wrote it off long ago. For Mandy, she simply had not met a person she had any desire to settle down with. After hearing some of the stories, I can't blame her.

At the time of this change, Mandy was 39. She shared with me that if she were to try for a child, this would be the last year. She asked about my thoughts, and I was all for it. I tend to live my life.... in a way that can be described in quite a few ways, I suppose. She was prepared for months of trying, but I assured her it would probably happen quickly if it happened at all. How I knew this is another story for another day.

We waited some time before we tried, as it seems that when a woman goes off the pill, she is supposed to let her body go through a cycle or two. She's the lady with the cycle, so I took her word for it. I don't think I'm spoiling anything in saying we succeeded! 

There have been a number of discussions since then, especially because of how my bad back factors in. Not to brag, but not only do I have a herniated disc or two, but I also have facet joint arthritis. In short, I'm a wreck. I was due for spinal fusion surgery, which would have left me fairly functional, but my insurance through work denied it. Beware - if your company uses Encore, be prepared to fight for what you need. I didn't have the fight in me. I settled for an ablation, which burned off some nerve endings, and makes sitting more tolerable. 

Based on my declining condition and the fact that I could no longer do my job, it was decided that I will be a stay at home dad. We have a great network of friends, and several have recently had children themselves, so I am expecting a pretty great support network. It's so easy to forget that all it ever takes is one decision in one moment to change the rest of your life forever.

I've been aware of that idea for some time, especially on a smaller level. Decisions you make today that don't seem to mean much can have consequences you'd never have expected.

Next up (I think) - Life since conception.

Pre-dadhood - 2 months to go and counting

Today is January 8, 2018. I've recently turned 48.

In about 2 months I'm going to be a dad. There's a bit more to it, though. I'm going to be a stay at home dad. Where I am now is the culmination of a life that has taken more twists and turns than I can possibly imagine. My girlfriend suggested I offer a youtube channel that talked about the experience of becoming a dad. I found out very quickly that this face and voice are not necessarily Youtube friendly. Instead, I'm going back to the blog I started ages ago. Same old Blogger, new topic. I've got a music blog, and a ranting blog, but this should be different I simply want to share the experiences and changes that have happened and what I"ll be going through. If this helps even one person, then it will have been worth it.

As I type this, I've got my laptop on my lap desk, iTunes burning a CD, and a game running on my ipad. Today was an adderall day, so I'm somewhat more motivated than usual.

To avoid rambling too much, I'll try to simply summarize events that led me to where I am now. I can elaborate in the future if there are any questions.

I'm living with my girlfriend. We've been together a few years. Due to a recent medical issue, she had to discontinue her birth control medication. We had both given up on the idea of ever having kids, deciding our lives just were not heading in that direction.

After a discussion of the medical change and the opportunity to try to get pregnant, we did, and we were successful. Around this same time, my back problems went from bad to severe. I have since had to leave my job nearly completely, simply getting a few hours by doing some office work for them.

Mandy, my girlfriend, has been very insistent that I cease working as soon as possible. From a physical standpoint, she is stating the obvious. Because of my back, I cannot perform my job properly. It's been agreed that I will continue the office calls through her maternity leave, or until they find a replacement. Once she goes back to work, I'll be an official stay at home dad.

I'm nervous and excited. I've never so much as handled an infant but once. My girlfriend is awesome, and supportive, and doing everything she can to make me feel like everything will be OK. Disability is being pursued for me, but the flaws in our system are delaying that as expected. We did a gofundme to help with medical bills, and the remaining funds are being doled out slowly to ensure every doctor gets a piece every month.

It's going to be a long an interesting trip. I hope you enjoy the ride with me.